Weddings

Weddings are the joyous occassion when a couple professes their love for one another in front of their friends and family but do people realize the hidden stresses/costs that are involved?

I was in my first wedding this past weekend as a bridesmaid - I love my friend to death and was truly honored to be asked to be in her wedding - so honored in fact that it made me cry.  Luckily she was very understanding when it came to the costs associated with the event: dress, alterations, shoes, accessories, travel/gas, bridal shower(s), bachelorette party, hair, makeup, food, lodging etc.  But some people don't understand the hidden emotional stresses/costs that come with inviting people to be in or to come to your wedding.

As a person who has not been in a real long-term relationship and maybe you do not know the bride's friends outside of the few that you have in common, the wedding and events involved, can put stress on you in other ways.  I tried to hold conversations with the people I did not know (girls in particular) at the bridal showers and bachelorette party but since I was not familiar with their 'circle' it was rather difficult finding things in common to talk about.  Most of the girls in the 'circle' were either in long-term relationships, engaged or married - most of their converstations were revolved around their wedding planning, marriage issues, child issues etc.  Being single and never engaged or married before I found it difficult to relate to them especially since I had never really interacted with them before.

I definitely got the 'who are you' looks and eye rolls - after numerous attempts to get to know the girls and engage in conversations I gave up.  I didn't have a fiance or a wedding to divulge every detail about so in turn I was left to sit and listen.  In my opinion, if you are a bride/groom and you have people taking part in your wedding, take the time to engage EVERYONE in the conversations and activities.  Now I'm not saying make sure that everyone is happy but make sure that you do activities that everyone can take part in and contribute to in some way.

As a bride or groom you also, in my opinion, need to take into account how the event may effect those of us who are single/divorced/widowed - we may not be able to look super excited or happy at every moment.  Yes, we are very excited for you, the fact that you found someone to spend the rest of your life with but remember, we're all human and have jealousies/wants/needs too in the love department.  It's only natural when you're single to wish that it was you with a partner, getting married, and well being HAPPY.

I do not in any way regret being in my friend's wedding this weekend, but now I know what to expect when I'm in my other friend's wedding this October.